Saturday, 17 September 2016

A new life

In the last few years, I have found it increasingly difficult to keep the good rhythm of posts I had at the start of this blog. 

It started off as a way to channel my pain and frustration. I hurt, I write it down, I realise stuff, I feel better. 
I started getting some followers, some questions, and I like to share what I know, so I carried on.
Maybe I haven't needed this outlet anymore, maybe it's because a few things happened that I could not share on here, maybe it's because I have incrementally less time now because I am doing more buddhist activities and I am (finally!) in a relationship. 

Who knows?

I know, however, that I like this blog and I don't want to let it go defunct.

So, I've made some decisions. (I sound like RuPaul here)Image result for rupaul I have made some decisions

Nothing too fancy. Simply, I will post whenever I have some inspiration, without feeling guilty or bad.

If anyone is interested in knowing what on Earth happened to me, let's just say I was unwell and not working for part of this year. It was a very difficult time, I had lost all my confidence from a professional standpoint, I was terrified of going back to a classroom and seriously debating whether or not I should carry on being a teacher at all.

(as an aside point, I really, really urge any and all teachers out there who are not in a Union: you are a reckless idiot. Get in a Union now)

For three months, all I did was Buddhist meetings, home visits and study. I finished the New Human Revolution (yes, all 26 volumes, not all at once, mind) and chanted to find my mission again. Oh, and dyed my hair green. ALL green.

My daimoku really worked. I found a maternity cover in a lovely independent school (where they love my green hair). At the end of the maternity cover, they offered me to stay on as part librarian, part Spanish teacher. I love my job. Hopefully at some point in the near future I will be a full time teacher again, and I am so grateful that I found a school that actually appreciates me.

2016 has been so far my most life-changing year to date. I made the impossible possible to an unimaginable scale and my fears have shrunk substantially. 

I have a big goal for November 18th and I need to really remind myself of how powerful my life is, because I often think it's impossible.

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